It was during this period of sobriety that I figured out what trans was. It was the single most important discovery of my life. For the longest time, I was so confused about who I was and what I was constantly feeling, and now I finally had an answer. I knew intuitively that this is EXACTLY what I was.
Not long after, I came out as transgender to my family, who, to their credit, couldn’t have been more supportive. I remember building up the courage to come out to my mom and tell her that I was trans. She reacted in the most beautifully nonchalant way: “Oh my God. I know. Don’t you have homework to do?” The second she said that will forever be the greatest moment of my life. The unconditional love and support shown to me was like having the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders.
The relief I felt brought me a sense of clarity that I still feel to this day. It made me realize that all of the fucked up shit I had done in my life, even as young as 7, was to be someone else. It was never an honest expression of who I was.
For my 18th birthday, my mom and dad got me my top surgery where I had both breasts removed. It was an indescribable feeling. My friends and family were insanely supportive. My friends and family got me a cake saying, “Bye Bye Boobies,”, and cookies shaped like nipples.
Not too long after I got my top surgery I started taking male hormones where the real transition began. People around me started telling me how happy I seemed – and I was. I had finally accepted and become who I always knew I was.